How should I know?

[his hands tighten around the bananas as he starts to close himself off.]

I don't deserve any of this. I don't deserve to stand here and talk about these things that don't exist in our world anymore.

[and at the same time, knowing that makes him so furious. He'd just wanted to save Ayanami, right? How could this have happened from just that? It isn't fair. It's ridiculous. There's no way he could have known --]