[ His hand came up and ran through his hair, stopping at the base of his neck as he took a few nervous, unsteady steps in the general direction of the door. So many thoughts were racing through his head it made him dizzy... or maybe he was still worse off than he realized.

Deep breath, Hawthorne. Why had he said that, again? Any more words were hard to get out, and there was that panicked voice in his head demanding that he leave immediately and deny that this had ever happened. ]

I... It is my fault. If I'd realized it earlier, if I'd moved faster, we could've... we could've gotten more out, maybe everyone. Even Mellark's family.

[ I should have known it was coming. I should have been prepared.

He hadn't had time to worry about it before, when he'd been trying to keep 800 people alive. But now that Gale had the time, now that he was faced with one of those he'd failed... he couldn't help it. He of all people should have known better.

That little voice of panic was growing. If there was one person Gale didn't want to show this insecurity in front of, it was Madge Undersee, and escaping while he could was starting to sound better and better. ]